a wonderful day in the neighborhood

let's take a moment and have a group scream of frustration

.....


alright. that was fun. to clear up any confusion and to wipe looks of "she's crazy" off your face, the scream was directed towards the Fordham University Tech Support. specifically the individual who answered my phone call after my 45 minute search for the proper phone number to call, my irritation at having to use my own phone to call as i could not find the extension number to waste the school's phone time. yes i realize that the search was due to my own incapability to organize anything in places that would be useful to me at all. no need to remind me.

regardless. after returning to my apartment after a relaxing and surprisingly enjoyable 6 day mecca to my hometown i was irritated to find i could not get my internet to work for the life of me. now i don't mean to brag, but i am fairly well versed in computers and have a knack for being able to fix most any problem that comes my way. my solution for refusing to convert to macs is to be able to fight anything that attacks my pc. cheaper in my view. so i spent a few hours last night trying everything imaginable to get the ridiculous smart enforcer program to disappear. to no avail. so i gave up and left. i returned after classes today hoping for a miracle, and got a hearty laugh in the face from the "you have temporary access" screen with it's annoying red countdown. after another 2 hours of pc doctoring i gave in, ranted through the 45 minute phone number search, and was connected (surprisingly fast) to a "tech support individual". success. or so i thought. it seems that the individuals assigned to tech support actually know nothing about any other program but those they are told to instruct you to download onto your computer. now as a fu student i ignored all the directions my freshman year about smart enforcer and blah blah blah, and have never had a problem. suddenly my computer is rejecting my $50 antivirus program. wonderful. as i explain to the broken record on the other end, i've had the software for two years, and it's worked fine. so tell me how to fix it. don't tell me to uninstall it. i don't want to. don't tell me it's the only way to fix it, because i know it's not. but sure, go ahead and read from your little instruction book. and repeat it eight times. because i didn't hear you the first seven.

so i hung up on him

and gave in

and uninstalled my antivirus

and downloaded their ancient program

and wowie

now everything works.

moral of the story:

i'm pissed that i couldn't fix it, i'm pissed that i gave in, and i'm pissed that fordham's tech support knows nothing about tech

whenever i talk about it i smile, whenever i see it i cry

two in one day. how's that for an entrance to blogger.

i came back because i'm supposed to be packing for the much awaited trip back upstate for tommy's wedding. but i hate packing. so i'll neglect it for a bit.

trips upstate are always a bit conflicting for me. on the one hand, i get to see my family, drive around for a bit, do some cheap shopping, tell my sister she's my best friend and get the chance to prove it, and be stuffed to overflowing by my loving grandmother's cooking. i'll jog down to my other grandparent's home to see the house that wasn't even started the last time i was home and is now fully furnished and they've moved in. on the other hand, there will inevitably be a fight with my mother, the friends who will pretend to be thrilled i'm back and then either pray for me to leave or spend weeks complaining that they didn't get to see me, because i didn't fit in with their weekend plans. understandable.

i let people know in advance and it generates little excitement, yet unannounced trips are met with cries of rage that i would dare not inform them of my return home. lose lose.

thus it's usually a few days spent not doing everything i wish i could be, wasting some time, and seeing a few of the people i truly miss. which is getting fewer everytime.

and there is my complaint. now i'm off to stake out the laundry room so i don't catch some guy examining my hot pink bra while "just transferring your clothes to the dryer". right

and hey, i still get to drive

That thing you need to redefine and validate your reality

i'd like to find it. days have become a blend of dates, of times, of subway trips and meaningless interactions with people in the form of their bag nailing my knee cap or their elbow knocking the wind out of me.

some days i think about turning around and screaming "fuck you"

but then i realize that they'd take 5 steps and forget me, and once again i'd blend in. what's the point in trying to stick out if you just fall back in.


i need some validation