new beginnings. i can do this. i need a change. two more weeks of school, finals, and i'm free. free to roadtrip with two of my bests to maine and canada. free to ski. free to sing along with the radio after 4 days. free to leave. if i can actually go through with it and take a week just to go, i can do anything. i know it sounds little but this is big. not to work, not to worry about rent, just to go. if i can do this i can leave in february and take a few months just to be. to be whatever and whoever i want to be. to visit people i should've already visited, to see things i want to see, to go. just go.
and i want to go.
i want to be brave enough to go, to do, to see, to be. i'm sick of being a shell. of pushing everyone away and trying to be whoever i think people like best. is there a me anymore? or are the 20 parts that i pull out as i see fit. like birthday dresses or memories. when i need them they're there, if not they're relegated to the puzzle box. i'm not making sense. i feel like a part of me is free. and it is. it's done. we're done. he does not hold me down, hold me back. i am the only one doing that now and if i can let go of myself, i can do anything. and i should. it's the right time, it will surely never be this good. so go. go silly, just go.
so i will. i will go.
yessssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment